12 Ways You Can Support Someone With Postnatal Depression

It’s tough to know how to help someone with postnatal depression (PND).

Watching a loved one go though such a tough time is frustrating as all you want to do is to make them feel better.

The story of a ‘rubbish’ mother: How postnatal depression ruined a year of my lifeWhile there are no magic words that will banish the illness, there are some ways in which you can support a loved one through PND.

And as it’s World Maternal Mental Health Day today (May 3), there’s no better time to consider how we can offer support.

So whether it’s just being there for them or offering some kind words, here are some ways you could help.

1. Be there
Don’t avoid them for fear of ‘saying the wrong thing’.

It is better to say the wrong thing, than to say nothing at all.

2. Do your research
Find out as much as you can about postnatal illness.

This will give you a greater understanding about what your friend is going through.

3. Tell her you get it
Remind her every day that she is not weak or a bad mother.

She is ill and it is not her fault – she needs to know that people understand that.

4. Don’t take offence
People with depression often become distant from people close to them.

Try not to take it personally, it is just a symptom of her illness.

5. Sympathise
It can be difficult to identify with someone with PND, especially if you have never suffered from a mental illness.

But you can let her know that you understand she feels bad and you are there for her.

6. Reassurance
She needs to hear that she is still a good mother, despite feeling awful.

Her baby is happy and healthy and she should be proud of that.

7. Understand that she does want to get better
Never tell her to ‘cheer up’ or ‘pull herself together’ – even if you say it with the best of intentions.

If she could just ‘cheer up’ she would!

8. Help with practical things
When you have a mental illness, even the smallest task can feel like a major effort.

So bring her around some groceries, help out with the baby or offer to do her laundry.

9. Gently encourage her to go outside
Simply going for a walk outdoors can have a positive effect on your mental health.

It reduces stress, anxiety and releases ‘happy hormones’ called endorphins.

She may not feel like it but even if you only get her to the end of the street, it’ll be a start.

10. Distract her
When you are in the thick of PND, it can be all you focus on.

Tell her a funny story or about a film you just watched or whatever you can think of (that is not related to PND or babies).

She may not ‘bring much to the party’ but it’ll take her mind off her own feelings a little.

11. Listen to her
Talking is the key to recovering from a mental illness.

If she does ever open up, turn off your phone and let her talk.

12. Be patient
Overcoming PND can be a long battle.

Don’t give up on her.

There’s more about coping with postnatal depression in my new book,Sleep is for the Weak. If you are struggling with postnatal illness contact your local Home-Start or PANDAS for support and advice.

MORE : 16 things anyone with postnatal depression needs to know

MORE : 17 parenting moments you should actually cherish the hell out of