How To Console Someone Using Words 10 Ways To Offer Support And Comfort

This article was co-authored by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation, his own relationship consulting business founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on his A.C.E. Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expressiveness. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, The Oprah Magazine, and Today.

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Finding the right words to console someone who’s going through a difficult time can be challenging for anyone. Depending on how close you are to the person, there are different things you can say to be sympathetic and show them you care. Take a look at some of the ideas on this list and choose whatever seems most appropriate to you the next time you want to console someone using words.

Steps

Acknowledge the person’s pain.

1. Let them know that you recognize the magnitude of their pain. Pick an appropriate time and situation and tell them you understand that they’re going through a difficult time. This can make the person feel more comfortable talking to you about it as well.[1]X Research source * You don’t have to get specific if you don’t want to. You can say something like: “I know this must be a really difficult time for you and your family.” * Or, say something like: “I know you must be feeling a lot of pain right now.”

1. These words are a good starting point to console anyone. If you aren’t sure what the right words are to console someone, simply say “I’m sorry.” Add more details to expand on why you’re sorry if you’re comfortable doing so and if it’s appropriate.[2]X Research source * For example, if your family member just had a miscarriage, you could say: “I’m really sorry you lost your baby.” * Or, if your friend’s dad just died, you might say: “I’m really sorry to hear about your dad.”

Try to distract the person if they don’t want to talk.

1. Show them you’re there for them by helping take their mind off the problem. Ask the person to go out for a meal or to the movies. Or, invite them over to talk. Let them know there is a standing invitation any time they want to hang out and distract themselves from the difficult time they’re going through.[3]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologistsGo to source * For example, if your friend just lost a parent to suicide, say something like: “I’m really sorry that happened. I’m always here if you need some company. Do you want to go out to dinner this week?” * Or, if a coworker is grieving over a break-up, tell them something like: “Hey, I’ve been there. If you want to get lunch one day to distract yourself, let me know!”

Ask them how they’re feeling.

1. This allows the person to express themselves and vent. Don’t assume you know what the person is feeling because of what they’re going through. Instead, ask them and let them tell you to help you understand their pain. Try saying something like: [4]X Research source[5]XExpert Source